Falling for someone new can be exhilarating. Those butterflies in your stomach, the constant daydreaming about them, the thrill of a new text message lighting up your phone – the beginnings of a potential relationship can make you feel like you’re walking on air.
But in the excitement and rush of emotions that come with liking a new crush, it’s easy to get carried away and make critical errors. Especially when we really like someone, we can lose perspective and fall into pitfalls that sabotage the potential relationship.
What’s the biggest mistake women make when they really like a guy? There are a few key blunders that can plague the early stages when your emotions are running high. Being aware of these missteps can help you avoid derailing a promising new romance before it even gets off the ground.
Being Too Available Too Fast
When you meet someone you really hit it off with, it’s tempting to want to spend as much time together as possible. But dropping everything the second he calls or texts to hang out can backfire.
You don’t want to come across as having anything else going on in your life or being too eager to the point of desperation. Give the relationship space to breathe and steadily build momentum. Don’t smother it by rushing into constant contact before you really know each other.
Keep a bit of mystery in the beginning. Don’t hastily reveal every detail about yourself or bare your soul right away. Let him gradually get to know you. Preserve some sense of mystery to keep things intriguing.
Don’t cancel existing plans just to see him. If you ditch friends or back out of commitments you made before you met this guy, it signals he’s become the only priority in your life. Keep other plans and obligations to maintain a healthy balance.
Pace out the dates rather than cramming them together. See him a couple of times a week maximum at first. This prevents premature burnout and leaves you with something to look forward to.
Avoid compulsively texting, calling, and checking up on him. Nothing comes off as more desperate than bombarding someone’s phone with messages. Let him initiate sometimes. Don’t freak out if he hasn’t texted you back within five minutes.
Give him space between dates to think about you. Use the gaps in between seeing each other to build anticipation. Let the attraction marinate instead of suffocating it.
Not Having Your Own Life
When you’re crazy about a new guy, it’s tempting to channel all your energy into him. But dropping all your hobbies, friendships, and interests to spend every free minute with your new crush or talking to him comes across as unhealthy.
Having your own robust, fulfilling life shows that you’re a well-rounded person with confidence and interests outside of this one man. It also gives you interesting things to talk about with him.
Keep up weekly coffee dates or girls’ nights to maintain close friendships so you have support systems outside of this new relationship.
Don’t abandon the hobbies and activities that light you up – whether it’s taking a spin class every Saturday morning, playing recreational soccer or regularly hitting up thrift stores to hunt for treasures. Keep at what makes you uniquely you.
Pursue your career aspirations and goals. Don’t let a new romance derail your professional dreams or slack at work to daydream about your crush. Stay focused on achievement.
Read books that immerse you in other worlds, watch shows that make you think, and listen to podcasts that intrigue you. Continue activities that stimulate your mind and nourish your soul.
Make time for self-care through yoga, journaling or whatever replenishes you. Don’t neglect your needs.
Staying engaged with your own life outside of the relationship makes you seem less desperate or dependent on this one person for your happiness. It nurtures your sense of identity beyond being someone’s girlfriend.
Acting Needy or Desperate
Few things are more unattractive than acting needy and desperate toward the object of your affection. When you come across as dependent on their validation or freaking out about the relationship, it screams insecurity and immaturity.
Unfortunately, these behaviors can manifest subconsciously when we really like someone, sabotaging our chances. Here are some ways women unconsciously act needy or desperate in new relationships:
- Overtexting – Bombarding his phone with a constant stream of texts, overanalyzing the time gaps between responses. Chill.
- Excessive flattery – Gushing over how amazing, handsome, and funny he is. Moderation.
- Pressuring for commitments – Pushing to become “official” after a few dates or demanding he delete his dating apps immediately. Slow down.
- Getting jealous easily – Interrogating him about female coworkers, and friends. Don’t let the green-eyed monster take over.
- Canceling other plans to be available to him – Rearranging your life at his every beck and call. Maintain your independence.
- Smothering him with affection – Overdoing cute gifts, cards, and flirty emojis from the start. Keep some mystery.
- Fishing for compliments – Hinting how you want to be praised for your appearance/outfits. Confidence is quiet.
- Oversharing or moving too fast physically – Getting intimately personal before you really know each other. Take it slow.
The antidote? Relax and adopt an abundance mindset. Don’t fixate on one relationship like it’s your only shot at love. Keep dating others casually until you’re both ready to commit. Avoid pressuring him into anything. Let things unfold organically.
Project an attitude of lightness. Don’t take everything so intensely seriously. Make sure you have your own fulfilling life and identity outside of this potential relationship so you don’t come across as clinging to it for purpose. Cultivate security from within.
Changing Yourself to Please Him
When you really like someone, it’s tempting to morph into what you think they want instead of being your true self. Avoid compromising your standards, values, or interests to impress them.
Stay true to you. If this guy doesn’t appreciate the unique person you genuinely are, he’s not the right fit no matter how cute he is.
Don’t pretend to love football or video games if they’re not your thing. Avoid feigning interest in things you find boring just to connect with him.
Don’t force yourself to be ready for physical intimacy on his timeline if you’d prefer to take it slow. Stick to your comfort zone.
Don’t abandon your close friends if this guy makes you feel like he should be your priority and isolates you. Red flag.
Don’t override your musical tastes to conform to his. You do you when it comes to your playlists.
Don’t give up foods you love because he’s a health nut or only eats certain things. Eat happily.
Don’t ditch your signature style and adapt his version of “hot.” Wear what makes you feel beautiful and confident.
At the end of the day, someone worth being with will appreciate you – not some made-over, watered-down version of yourself designed to perfectly fit their lifestyle.
Ignoring Red Flags
When caught up in a promising new romance, it’s tempting to downplay or excuse any sketchy behavior, mismatches, or red flags. You tell yourself it’s not a big deal or you can change him. Wrong!
Pay attention to warning signs early so you don’t waste time on someone who ultimately won’t make you happy.
🚩 He’s still active on dating apps weeks into dating you. Says he’s “just looking” and it’s “not serious.” Believe actions over words.
🚩 He’s hot and cold. Super attentive one day, then distant and flaky the next. This screams unreliable.
🚩 He insists the relationship remains casual after months of seeing each other. If you want more, you won’t change his mind.
🚩 He gets insanely jealous over innocent interactions but follows a lot of scantily-clad models online. Hypocrisy alert.
🚩 He has a totally different lifestyle than you – opposite schedule, party animal, commitment-phobe. Highly incompatible.
🚩 He gaslights you into thinking normal boundaries are “needy” or “nagging.” Toxic behavior.
🚩 He’s still caught up on his ex who dumped him. You’re just a placeholder until they reunite.
🚩 He doesn’t make real plans with you – only last-minute booty calls on his terms. You deserve better.
🚩 He frequently ditches you for other options or blows off plans with lame excuses. Unreliable.
Don’t make excuses for bad behavior or try to rationalize red flags. The beginning is when people are on their best behavior – it only gets worse. Cut ties before deeper feelings develop.
You deserve someone who treats you with consistent care, respect, and investment from day one. Don’t waste time trying to force a mismatch.
In Conclusion
When you really like a guy, it’s easy to get swept up in the rush of emotions and make mistakes that sabotage the potential relationship. Avoid being too available too fast, dropping your own life for him, acting needy or desperate, changing yourself to please him, or ignoring red flags.
Stay true to who you are – keep up your own interests, friendships, and activities outside of this new relationship. Don’t obsess over every little detail or smother him with affection before you really know each other.
If this connection is meant to flourish into something real, it will do so organically if given space. Rushing things or pretending to be someone you’re not won’t make it work.
