Gentlemen, we need to have a little chat about calling vs. texting the women in our lives.
I know, I know – texting is easy, convenient, and non-intrusive. You can dash off a witty text from anywhere and not have to commit to a full conversation. But let me let you in on a little secret: calling can be so much more powerful when used strategically.
Trust me, I learned this lesson the hard way. I was a texting addict, firing off paragraph after paragraph trying to spark a connection. And you know what I got back? One-word answers or worse – radio silence. Not exactly the pitter-patter of smitten hearts I was going for.
But once I started calling more, everything changed. I made real connections, got more dates, and formed relationships that went beyond the screen.
So put down your phone for a second and hear me out. Here are 11 times when making a call beats texting hands down:
1. When you want to meet up spontaneously
It’s a beautiful sunny day. You just got off work early. You’d love to see that cute girl from accounting and get an impromptu drink or bite.
So you text her: “Hey! I’m off work early and the weather’s amazing. Let’s meet for a drink in the park in 30!”
Then you wait. And wait. And…continue waiting as she goes about her day, blissfully unaware of the unread text waiting eagerly on her phone.
Meanwhile, that magical window of spontaneity closes when she finally gets around to responding 40 minutes later with “Sorry, can’t today!”
Ugh. The moment has passed. But it could have been different!
Instead, you could have called her right away when the impulse struck: “Hey! I just got off work early and had the most amazing idea – let’s meet in the park in 30 minutes to enjoy this gorgeous weather. I’ll bring coffee!”
Boom – you got her attention immediately, communicated the fun of the spontaneous invite, and she’d likely have said yes to such a charming surprise.
Moral of the story: when you want something to happen right away, don’t text – call.
2. When you make a mistake
We all mess up sometimes. Whether it’s double booking dates, flaking, or forgetting important plans, these things happen. But don’t make the mistake of trying to text-apologize your way out of it.
“Sorry, something came up and I won’t be able to make dinner tonight.”
Not good enough. That sterile text does nothing to soothe hurt feelings or convey genuineness.
Instead, call. Let her hear the sincerity in your voice.
“Hi. I know I really screwed up by forgetting our plans tonight. You must be angry and I don’t blame you. I feel awful about it. I’m calling to sincerely apologize and make it up to you. Can we reschedule for tomorrow? Dinner and drinks are on me.”
Now that’s how you turn a mistake into an opportunity for growth. Use your voice and real vulnerability – not a quick text.
3. When her responses are lackluster
You like this woman. You send her well-thought-out texts about your day, jokes that make your buddy laugh out loud, and even poetry snippets that remind you of her.
But all you get back is a polite “lol” or “cool.” She sees your texts but isn’t engaged.
Don’t keep forcing the text connection that just isn’t there. Instead, switch mediums. Call her instead and hear her voice – it makes a world of difference in connecting.
A call opens up so much more emotional nuance and rapport than soulless texting ever could. Use your charm and wit to engage her instead of firing off ineffective texts into the void.
4. When you hate texting
Look, I’m not going to tell you how you need to communicate. If you dislike texting, don’t force yourself into it just because she seems glued to her phone! Stick to what makes you comfortable instead.
Call her to set up dates and have meaningful conversations. If she has an issue with it, then she’s likely not the right match for you anyway.
Don’t let your thumbs tap dance if it’s not your style. You do you.
5. When her interest seems to be fading
Here’s a scenario we’ve all faced: you started off texting constantly back and forth. Her responses were lightning fast with plenty of flirty emojis. You set up a great first date.
But then things cooled off a bit. Her replies got slower and shorter. She said she was “busy” when you tried to set up Date #2.
This is when you need to grab her attention back – not through more unanswered texts, but with an engaging call.
Hearing your voice sparks a level of interest and intrigue that a wall of texts simply can’t. Use your charm, ask open-ended questions, and tell an amusing story from your day. Make her remember why she was so eager to text you in the first place.
Then – and only then – reignite the text chemistry.
6. When you want to tell a joke or be playful
Humor is everything, but it rarely translates well through text.
You text what you think is a hilarious joke. You use a smiling emoji, a laughing face, or even a cry-laughing one. You wait eagerly for her LOL.
But instead…crickets. Or even worse – she thinks you’re being serious and gets offended.
Unless you’re a top-notch comedy writer, so much nuance is lost via text. Instead, call her. She can hear the levity in your voice and that you’re just being playful. Now that joke lands perfectly and brings you both closer through laughter.
Don’t gamble with text – use your voice and timing to share something funny instead.
7. When your first date was lackluster
You’ve both been looking forward to this date all week. But for some reason, the sparks just didn’t fly in person.
The conversation was stilted. Moments passed in silence. She seemed relieved when you said you had to get going.
Awkward…now what?
You shoot her an ambiguous text: “I had fun tonight, let’s do it again sometime.”
But will that anemic text really turn things around after such a bland first meet? Doubtful.
Instead, get on the phone and get to know her for real. Tell her you’d love a do-over date to really show her an amazing time. Listen to learn about her passions. Share laughs and weird stories from your childhood.
This emotional connection is impossible to build through a few soulless texts. Only a call can revive the vibe after a lackluster first date.
8. When making concrete plans
You’re trying to finalize the plan for your big date night, but endless texts back and forth leave you nowhere:
You: “Want to check out that new Thai place?” Her: “Hmm not really in the mood for Thai food.” You: “No prob, how about Italian?” Her: “Had that last week.” You: “Mexican could be good…”
And so on until you’re ready to hurl your phone against the wall.
Stop the text ping pong – it’s going nowhere. Call instead.
“Hey, let’s figure this out faster – what are you in the mood for tonight? I’m down for anything yummy.”
Now you can have an actual conversation in real time. Suggest places, discuss what you feel like eating, and come to a decision in 2 minutes instead of 20 hours worth of texts.
9. When she’s flaky
Few things are more frustrating than a flaky date. She confirms plans, you get dressed up and excited, and then…radio silence when it’s time to meet up.
Don’t let yourself get strung along!
If she’s more than 10 minutes late without letting you know, give her a call. Let her know politely but firmly that you don’t appreciate the flakiness – your time is valuable too. If she doesn’t have an amazing excuse (like a genuine emergency), then stand up for yourself and make other plans.
Don’t let yourself get strung along or taken for granted. Handle flaky behavior head-on with a phone call, not avoidance texts.
10. When it’s been a while
Let’s say you had an amazing first date weeks or months ago. But then life got busy – work trips, family emergencies, you name it. The texting fizzled out.
Now you’re both finally free. Do you:
- A) Text her “Hey stranger, want to meet up?”
- B) Call her to touch base and make plans
If you picked B, you’re absolutely right!
Don’t rely on a stale text after all this time. Hearing your voice again will bring a spark back instantly versus a random text. Share some stories of what you were up to, and ask her how she is.
11. When her responses take forever
You love talking to this woman – when you can actually get ahold of her. The time between her responses makes a snail look speedy. Hours or even days pass before she writes back.
And when she does finally text again, it’s with the driest, most minimal responses. Huge bummer.
Don’t let yourself get strung along in text purgatory. Take charge and call her instead.
She picks up and you get to have an actual, meaningful conversation. Text chemistry fizzles, but voice chemistry sizzles. Now you’re connecting in real time without painful lags between responses.
For emotionally attuned people who prefer talking on the phone, a call can make all the difference compared to drawn-out, unsatisfying text exchanges. Don’t let your connection fizzle – pick up the phone instead.
Pro Tip: Double call for urgency
When you call a woman and she doesn’t pick up, don’t just leave a vague voicemail. Call back again!
Ringing twice in a row signals urgency, giving her the hint that it’s important to call you back ASAP. This little trick works wonders compared to single calls that are easier to ignore.
But whatever you do – don’t call a third time. Triple calling screams desperation and neediness. Two calls get the point across that she should hit you back promptly, and then move on if she doesn’t respond.
Use the power of the double call wisely, gentlemen.
So there you have it – 11 circumstances when making a call creates that spark and connection that texting just can’t achieve.
Sure, texting has its place – sending quick logistics, meme sharing, or flirty banter once you’re already dating. But when it comes to asking her out, planning dates, apologizing for mistakes, and reigniting faded chemistry – nothing beats a simple phone call.
It may feel nerve-wracking at first, but it’s a muscle you need to flex in dating and relationships. You got this! Just dial, take a breath, and let your charming self shine through.
The rewards will be well worth it when you hear her smile through the phone and say “I’d love to see you again soon.” This is how real bonding happens – now go pick up the phone and make it so!
