You’re dating someone amazing. You think you’ve found the one. Then, they vanish. No calls, no texts, no goodbye. You’ve been ghosted.
It hurts, I know. Ghosting is a cruel way of ending a relationship that leaves you feeling rejected and worthless.
I know how it feels – I’ve been there too. But what if I told you that ghosting could actually be a good thing for you?
In this article, I’ll reveal the unexpected benefits of being ghosted or how you can use it to your advantage.
It Reveals You Weren’t Meant to Be
Remember that quote
If you love something let it go…if it comes back it’s yours forever…if it doesn’t it never was.
The same rings true for ghosting.
The realization stings like a paper cut doused in lemon juice. But their disappearance reveals you likely weren’t destined for “happily ever after” anyway. Why waste precious time and emotions trying to force a square peg into a round hole?
The person who fits you like a glove won’t slip away without explanation. In the words of comedian Greg Behrendt,
If he’s not calling you, it’s because you’re not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you and doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do the same for big things. Be aware.
It Makes Room for Something Better
When one door slams shut, another opens. Getting ghosted frees you up for relationships with more aligned partners. The time spent mourning the disappearance of your ghoster is preventing you from seeking out better connections.
Who might you meet if you weren’t hung up on someone who clearly wasn’t feeling it? Maybe your soulmate is waiting for you just around the corner. But you’ll never know unless you dust off the ghosting disappointment and get back in the game.
That ghoster wasn’t your destiny – he/she just cleared your schedule for it. Remember, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. The next time you click with someone, appreciate it fully without trying to make it something it’s not.
It Builds Emotional Strength
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” isn’t just a Kelly Clarkson anthem – it’s the truth.
Heartbreaks and disappointments build resilience to handle life’s curveballs. After getting ghosted, that strength will help you weather all kinds of storms – fights with your future partner, grief from losing loved ones, and career turbulence.
Rather than allowing ghosting to crush your confidence, view it as a tough but necessary lesson. Let it thicken your skin so you can show up as your best self for the right connections ahead.
It Teaches the Value of Clear Communication
When someone exits stage left without a word, it leaves you grasping for explanations. “Did I say something wrong?” “Are they mad at me?” “Was it my bad breath?”
This confusion spotlights the importance of direct communication in relationships. Assertively expressing your wants and needs – including deal-breakers – can help prevent ghosting down the line.
Seek out partners who can discuss their feelings openly, even difficult ones like wanting to break up. Flying red flags early, before enmeshing your lives, will foster trust and understanding.
I ignored blatant warnings that my ghoster was non-committal and avoided conflict. Her abrupt disappearance, while hurtful, hammered home the need for transparency in relationships.
I now opt for connections with people who are clear about their intentions from the start – the ones who have courageous conversations.
When Getting Ghosted Becomes Abuse
For some people, ghosting isn’t a one-off event – it’s a chronic pattern of abuse. Narcissists and others with dark personality traits use ghosting to control and manipulate through intermittent reinforcement.
They shower you with attention, then withdraw it to keep you hooked. They reappear just when you’re ready to move on, only to ghost again, leaving you addicted to the ups and downs.
Recognizing these toxic cycles is key. If someone disappears and ropes you back in multiple times, ask yourself: why tolerate this whiplash? You deserve more than breadcrumbs of affection doled out when it’s convenient.
Block their number, remove them on social media, and close that chapter for good. Their loss.
How to Move Forward After Ghosting
When ghosted, here are some tips to lift your spirits and get back on track:
Let it out. Venting your feelings prevents them from festering. Phone a friend, grab some Ben and Jerry’s, pull out Taylor Swift’s breakup playlist, and process the grief.
Don’t take it personally. Ghosting tends to reflect the ghoster’s issues more than anything you did. Rejection stings, but remember you’re desirable and worthy of love.
Learn the lesson. Reflect on any red flags you overlooked about mismatched values or poor communication. Apply that insight to make wiser dating decisions moving forward.
Focus outward. Immerse yourself in enriching activities and supportive social connections. Join a club, volunteer, travel. This boosts confidence and expands your social network.
Visualize an ideal partner. Envision the qualities of a compatible mate who meets your needs. This image can serve as a compass when navigating future relationships.
Practice self-care. Treat yourself with compassion – up the therapy sessions, sign up for that pole dancing class, and take yourself on solo dates. Replenish your spirit.
The Takeaway
No one enjoys getting ghosted. It hurts and makes us question our self-worth. But rather than obsessing over the rejection, view it as the universe’s way of rerouting you.
What seemed like the worst thing ever can open you up to meet someone perfectly suited for you down the road. With optimism and resilience, you can turn this pain into insight to guide you toward the healthy love you deserve.
So the next time someone mysteriously disappears from your messages and calls, remember: their loss is meant to be your gain. Their exit is making space for better connections and life lessons that serve your personal growth.
