You’re swiping away on Bumble, matching with cuties left and right, when you come across an intriguing profile. Great smile, good job, cute dog – seems promising! That is, until you read that they’re looking for “something casual.” What does that mean, exactly?
In the wild world of online dating, terminology can often be confusing or misleading. The meaning of “casual” relationships seems obvious at first glance but can vary significantly from person to person.
So if you’ve ever matched with someone seeking something casual and weren’t quite sure what you were getting yourself into, this article will break it all down for you!
What Does “Casual” Usually Mean on Dating Apps?
When someone says they want a casual relationship on a dating app like Bumble, there are a few assumptions you can typically make:
1. They’re likely seeking no-strings-attached physical intimacy
This is the most common implication of “casual” on dating profiles. People looking for casual encounters are generally open to hookups, friends-with-benefits arrangements, or one-night stands with no expectation for emotional intimacy or commitment.
For many casual daters, priority #1 is having fun, adventurous sex while avoiding attachment or planning for the future. Exclusivity and monogamy are typically off the table as well.
Of course, not all casual relationships involve sex right away or ever. But physical intimacy, without commitment, is often the underlying goal.
2. There are no relationship expectations
When emotional investment is kept low, you don’t have to integrate your casual partner into other areas of your life. Things like:
- Making joint plans with friends/family
- Posting couple-y things on social media
- Attending work functions or weddings together
- Meeting the parents
Lack of expectations goes both ways – your casual Bumble match likely won’t care if you fail to check in for a week, cancel dates last minute, or act hot and cold.
For many casual daters, the relationship starts and ends within the confines of the bedroom.
3. They may be dating/sleeping with multiple people
Since casual dating relationships tend not to involve emotional or sexual exclusivity, your match might have a roster of other casual partners as well.
If you’re looking for something strictly monogamous, tread carefully here. However, for those open to dating around themselves, this setup can work well too.
The key is ensuring transparency and consent with all partners involved.
4. Serious commitment is off the table
People seeking casual arrangements are intentionally avoiding serious commitment for any number of reasons:
- They just got out of a long-term relationship
- They have an unpredictable work schedule
- They travel frequently or are planning to relocate soon
- They simply aren’t ready to settle down
Regardless of the rationale, casual daters are upfront about not wanting commitment in their current dating life. If you’re looking for a life partner, a casual relationship likely won’t fit the bill.
How to Clarify Casual Relationship Expectations
Because interpretations of “casual” vary, it’s important to discuss specifics rather than making assumptions when you match with someone seeking a casual relationship.
Some key points to cover:
Expected frequency/priority
- How often will we realistically see each other? Once a week? Once a month?
- Will this relationship take a backseat to jobs, family, and friends?
- Can we make last-minute plans or will things be scheduled out in advance?
Level of communication
- Will we keep in regular contact in between dates or strictly stick to setting up hookups?
- What topics are on/off limits when we do communicate? No venting about work stress? No updates about our dating lives?
Physical involvement
- Are we interested in a primarily sexual relationship or also open to non-sexual activities together occasionally?
- Are there any specific sexual acts or experimentations you hope to explore in this arrangement?
- Will we be sexually exclusive to each other or continue seeing other people?
By putting all cards on the table about what you envision for a casual relationship, you reduce room for hurt feelings and nasty surprises down the road when someone makes an assumption that doesn’t match reality.
And who knows – maybe through this discussion you’ll discover you actually want the same things and can build a mutually satisfying situation together!
Signs a Casual Relationship Is Right For You
Casual arrangements aren’t for everyone. Here are a few signs this setup may align well with your needs:
1. You genuinely enjoy sexual variety and novelty
Casual dating offers opportunities to intimately explore multiple partners with fewer repercussions. If having adventurous sex with someone new every weekend genuinely fires you up, this could be an ideal dynamic.
However, if you tend to experience strong sexual jealousy, require emotional intimacy to enjoy sex, or find yourself catching feelings quickly, tread carefully here.
2. You have limited time for a high-maintenance relationship
Let’s face it – traditional committed relationships require ongoing cultivation. But for those with packed work schedules, hectic family lives, eccentric hobbies, far-flung friend groups, or other big-time commitments, having a high-investment partner can stretch you thin.
If you genuinely don’t have the bandwidth in your life for checking in with your bae every day, meeting their family, or remembering anniversaries – a low-stakes casual arrangement may better meet your needs right now.
3. You’re highly independent and value autonomy
Some people simply require more personal space, alone time, and autonomy than others to thrive. Maybe you travel often for work, have hopped from city to city over the past few years, or are already fulfilling all your core social needs through friends/family.
If you place a premium on preserving your independence in life, inviting a serious partner into your world can feel uncomfortably enmeshed. Casual dating allows intimacy without sacrificing too much freedom.
4. You’re exiting a long-term relationship
Transitioning straight from a committed LTR into serious dating again can be emotionally jarring. However, abstaining from intimacy altogether during this period can leave you feeling lonely and insecure.
Casual dating during this in-between phase allows you to dip your toes back into dating at your own pace, get your sexual groove back, and remind yourself there are other fish in the sea for when you’re ready to dive back into commitment.
Just be transparent with partners about where you’re at to avoid leading anyone on.
5. You get bored easily in relationships
Ah, the tragic curse of the thrill-seekers among us. Some free spirits – as fun and compelling as they may be – struggle with maintaining interest and excitement in a partner long-term.
Rather than force monogamy with someone when you know that nagging “grass is always greener” feeling will sneak up, embracing the casual dating lifestyle means you can enjoy a connection with multiple partners without hurting anyone’s feelings later.
Can Casual Ever Become Serious?
While unlikely, some casual relationships organically deepen into meaningful long-term partnerships over time.
Signs there may be potential for more:
- You actively enjoy each other’s non-sexual company and conversations
- You integrate into other areas of each other’s lives
- You find yourself making an effort to romance/impress them
- You miss them and think about them frequently when apart
- You experience pangs of jealousy if they date others
However, don’t enter into a clearly casual relationship secretly hoping to change their mind later. This rarely ends well!
The healthiest approach is taking things at face value unless you mutually decide to progress the relationship together.
And that concludes your crash course on casual dating! The key takeaways:
- Don’t assume – clarify specifics upfront
- Align expectations around intimacy, availability, communication
- Ensure you can handle sexual nonexclusivity
- Avoid if hoping for eventual commitment
Now swipe with confidence, communicate openly, and may all your matches be keepers!
