Congratulations! You have won a match on Tinder. But hold on, the real challenge is just beginning – starting a conversation.
You start typing, backspace, type some more, groan in frustration… the situation is really understandable.
So, for you, we’ll explore the proven building blocks for crafting opening messages that spark interesting dialogue instead of crickets. 🦗 Ready to become a master matchmaker and get your flirt on? Let’s do this!
Craft the Perfect Opening Line
While a warm, casual “hello” opener works for starting a Tinder conversation, it likely won’t stand out in any memorable way. When competition is fierce, a great opening line could be what sets you apart.
So let’s strategize how to craft opener ideas that grab attention for all the right reasons. Here are five techniques to try:
1. Lead With an Engaging Question
Open-ended questions are fantastic conversation starters because they provide an easy prompt for the other person to respond to. At the same time, they reveal something about your own personality and interests.
Examples:
- Hallo! The big question is, would you rather have the power to travel through space or through time? 🤯 No wrong answers!
- I have to ask about your profile pic with the adorable puppy. What’s their name? 🐶
- Hey there! Random question to start us off: What’s your favorite travel adventure or memory?
Tips:
- Ask about their interests, life experiences, opinions, or ideas. Stay away from boring small talk questions.
- Keep it fun and playful! Add emojis or exclamation marks to set a warm, casual tone.
- Ask follow-up questions to keep the banter flowing rather than dead-ending their first response.
2. Pay a Genuine Compliment
Who doesn’t love receiving a nice compliment? A charming remark about their smile, sense of humor, creativity, or other positive qualities is a sure way to get the conversation rolling on a feel-good note.
Just be sure your compliment focuses on something substantial about who they are rather than what they look like. Leave any remarks about physical appearance for later once you’re both comfortable.
Examples:
- Your profile gave me a smile overload – you seem like you’d be the best person to grab coffee with!
- I love your artistic style! The drawings on your Insta are incredible. You’re so talented!
- Heya, I really admire how your pics radiate so much joy and positive energy!
Tips:
- Reference something specific from their profile so they know it’s genuine.
- Keep it classy and sincere without crossing into creepy or overly familiar territory. A little goes a long way early on!
3. Crack a Playful Joke
Got a knack for humor? Funny opening lines can instantly break the ice and get conversations off to a playful start. Just keep the comedy level appropriate for a first interaction with a complete stranger.
Push the humor too far into wacky, over-the-top, or slightly weird territory and you risk alienating a potential match rather than intrigue them.
Examples:
- I’d offer to buy you a drink, but I think I’m all out of hard kombuchas and La Croixs. 😂 What do you say we imagine the perfect cocktail instead?
- They say every joke contains some truth… so does this mean we’re destined to have cheesy yet adorable pun-filled banter from here on out?
- In response to a profile pic at Machu Picchu: Wow, could this view BE any more incredible?? …Sorry, couldn’t resist a classic Friends reference to break the ice 😜
Tips:
- Reference something relevant from their pics or bio to customize the humor.
- Emojis and gifs help set a playful, humorous tone. But don’t go overboard.
- Keep it family-friendly to stay in safe territory for a first interaction.
4. Find Common Ground
Finding shared interests, experiences or values is an easy way to establish common ground right off the bat. People inherently like others who are similar to themselves. With a “me too!” opener, you lay the basis for having stuff to bond over.
Examples:
- No way, I also spent a semester abroad in Barcelona! What was your favorite thing about the city?
- You have a pup named Pepper too?? You clearly have great taste in dog names. 🐶
- I see you’re also really into live music and going to shows! What kind of music are you into?
Tips:
- Scan their profile for hobbies, cultural references, locations or other indicators of possible commonalities.
- Ask follow-up questions to uncover more shared interests rather than just stating you have that thing in common.
- If you have zero commonalities apparent in your profiles, look for opportunities later to establish rapport.
5. Go Out on a Limb
So you painstakingly followed tips 1-4, crafted what you felt was a fantastic opener, and… never heard back. What gives?
While there’s no foolproof way to get a response 100% of the time, one strategy is to take more risks with your opening lines. Rather than blending into the crowd of polite small talkers, grab their attention by bravely being different.
Standing out feels counterintuitive when you’re trying not to be creepy. But it’s possible to get noticed in ways that intrigue rather than turn people off.
Examples:
- Let’s start this convo off with a bang – hot take, but in my opinion, ranch dressing doesn’t belong on pizza. Please tell me if this is a friendship dealbreaker!
- You seem like a cool person to chat with. Quick question before we dive in: Team Marvel or Team DC?
- Your profile gives me ‘adventurous world traveler’ vibes. If you could visit any place on Earth right now, where would you beam yourself off to?
Tips:
- Give a unique opinion or ask an unexpected question they likely haven’t heard before.
- Offer an outside-the-box compliment that shows you didn’t just skim their pics.
- Pose an imaginative “this or that” scenario to get them thinking.
Adapt Your Opener to the Profile
While the above strategies give you starter ideas, it’s important to tailor your opening line to each specific match by referencing their profile.
Show you’ve actually paid attention to their photos, bio, or linked accounts rather than spamming a generic opener to all your matches.
Here are tips for personalizing opener ideas based on common profile elements:
Photos: Ask something about the context of a particular photo – location, activity, etc. Compliment a specific element you find intriguing.
Bio details: Ask about or reference something they mention regarding jobs, hobbies, cultural likes, etc. Look for fun facts to riff off.
Linked IG/Spotify: Comment on something you find interesting from their other linked social media accounts. Great way to start a chat about passions.
Don’t get too creepy or detail-oriented by referencing super niche things that reveal you cyber-stalked them outside Tinder. The purpose is to make it clear their profile – not just their looks – informed your first outreach.
Set the Tone
Beyond standing out with a unique opening line, you also want to establish the right tone for this first exchange – one that sets the momentum towards a great first date.
Get a feel for whether playful banter, deeper questions or a combo makes the most sense as you continue chatting.
Here are some tone pointers as you craft your opener and carry the convo forward:
Be flirty. Let a little playfulness and romantic intrigue shine through your messages without crossing lines. Flirtation builds chemistry!
Focus on positive vibes. Keep the convo uplifting by asking positive questions and sharing fun anecdotes, not venting or getting too serious.
Show genuine interest. Ask follow-up questions and share relevant bits about yourself rather than just talking about your interests.
Use exclamation marks and emojis. Emoticons help conversations feel lively, casual and upbeat. But don’t overdo it.
Watch tone indicators. Take cues from the length of their replies, questions they ask back, and emojis/grammar used to gauge their level of interest and engagement.
Suggest meeting up. If you’re both feeling the convo, eventually propose getting together in real life for a drink, coffee, or activity date.
Final Words
There you have it – the essential ingredients for crafting first messages on Tinder that spark something special. With the right combo of playful but thoughtful openers, you’ll be scoring dates and making connections in no time. Now get swiping out there! 😉🔥
