Keeping a Tinder conversation going can be nerve-wracking. You want to make a good impression, be charming and funny, and keep them interested. At the same time, you don’t want to come across as overeager or make them uncomfortable. It’s a delicate balancing act.
So, in this guide, I’ll teach you pro tips and strategies to effortlessly continue Tinder conversations. We’ll cover how to craft great responses, find engaging topics, and avoid common messaging mistakes.
With a little practice, you’ll be chatting like a pro and scoring second dates in no time. Let’s start swiping!
(And if you’re wondering why someone hasn’t replied to your message, check out this guide on understanding non-responses.)
1. Write Good Responses That Captivate Your Match
The foundation of continuing any Tinder conversation is writing responses your match wants to reply to.
Great responses show you’re a good listener, keep the dialogue balanced, and give your match something meaty to respond to. Mediocre responses kill the conversation before it starts.
But, before you start crafting responses, make sure you have a good Tinder profile to attract matches in the first place.)
Now, follow these tips when crafting your Tinder replies:
Keep responses short, sweet, and open-ended
When you match with someone exciting, it’s tempting to send them a novel going over your whole life story. Hold that thought! Long blocks of texts feel overwhelming and can even scare potential partners away.
Instead, keep your responses around 2-4 sentences long. Share 1-2 interesting details about yourself and end with an open-ended question to keep the conversation flowing.
Here’s an example of a fun, breezy response:
“I’d live on tacos if I could! My favorite taco place is Taqueria El Ranchito – they make the best carnitas. What kind of toppings make the ultimate taco in your opinion?”
This response is short, shares something specific about the matcher’s interests, and ends with a question to keep the chat going. See the difference?
Pro Tip: Read over your messages before sending them. Look for filler words or extraneous details you can trim. If you can say something simpler, do it!
Show genuine interest by asking questions
Imagine someone rattled off facts about themselves without letting you get a word in. Pretty annoying, right?
The same goes on Tinder. No one likes feeling more like an interviewer than a potential date. Keep the conversation balanced by sharing information about yourself between questions.
When they answer your question, don’t just fire back another one immediately. Share your own perspective, too!
Here’s what a nice back-and-forth might look like:
You: What kind of music are you into? I love finding new bands.
Them: Recently I’ve been on a major indie folk kick – The Head and The Heart, Lord Huron, bands like that. How about you?
You: I have a soft spot for indie folk too. My newest find is Bon Iver – have you heard their new album? My favorite track is…
See how they answered your question, and then turned it around on you? Keep that pattern going – it makes messages feel like a natural conversation rather than an interrogation.
Bring positivity and keep things light
Early conversations on dating apps aren’t the time to unload heavy emotional baggage or rant about your terrible week. Even if your match asks “How’s your day going?” don’t launch into venting about every frustrating thing that happened.
Instead, keep things positive. Share upbeat details about your day – a great workout class you took, a cool cafe you popped into on your lunch break, the new book you’re loving. This positive energy makes you more attractive as a potential partner.
Sprinkle in some friendly humor, too. Silly puns and lighthearted jokes give your match a glimpse of your playful side:
You: What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador! My corny jokes are endless, fair warning.
Witty, self-deprecating humor is also great for keeping things breezy. Just stay away from sarcasm or saying things at the expense of others – you want to come across as fun, not mean.
Additional Tip: Remember, your bio sets the tone for your conversations. Learn how to write an engaging Tinder bio to start on the right foot.
Provide enough detail for them to respond
Giving concise responses is great, but make sure you provide some meat for your match to dig into. One-word answers, however charming, don’t offer much for the other person to build on.
Share a juicy detail, interesting fact about yourself, or strong opinion to get your match’s conversational wheels turning. Give them something to ask follow-up questions about!
For example:
Them: What are you up to this weekend?
You (bland response): Not much, just hanging out. You?
You (juicy response): I’m attempting my first 5K on Saturday! I’ve never run more than a mile without stopping so wish me luck, haha. Any big plans for you?
See the difference? Your match can ask you how training is going, offer encouragement, or share their perspective on running vs other workouts. Specificity breeds conversation!
2. Find Interesting Topics to Discuss
Trading those get-to-know-you basics will only get you so far. To shift from small talk into stimulating conversation, bring up these engaging topics:
References dropped in their profile
Your match likely spent time carefully cultivating their profile, choosing attractive photos, and coming up with clever answers to show off what makes them special.
When you ask about something specific in their bio, it shows you took the time to get to know them as an individual – not just blindly swipe right on every one.
Spot a cute pic of them hiking with their dog? Ask about their favorite local trail. See they’re wearing a shirt from that new taco place? Ask if they’ve tried the fish tacos.
This small gesture makes your match feel special seen…and more likely to respond positively to you.
Pro Tip: If you’re really struggling to start a conversation based on their profile, you might want to try some clever Tinder pick-up lines to break the ice.
Current events
Bringing up the latest meme, pop culture moment, or news event makes messages feel current, relevant, and more engaging.
The key is briefly introducing the topic, then pivoting into a question that reveals something about your match’s perspectives, values, and personality:
You: Have you seen any Wordle spoofs yet? My favorite is Sweardle – same idea but with NSFW words, haha. Do you usually stick to the normal Wordle or like the weirder versions?
You: That Chris Rock/Will Smith incident was so shocking! Which celeb behavior has surprised you most so far this year?
Exchanging thoughts on the latest viral tweet or celebrity gaffe leads to conversations that feel refreshing rather than full of stale small talk.
Imaginative “what if” scenarios
Hypothetical questions reveal how your match thinks about things and shows off their personality. These out-of-the-box prompts grab interest better than boring basics like “how was your weekend?”
Next time your Tinder convo needs reviving, toss one of these playful “what ifs” their way:
- What fictional family would you want to join and why?
- If you had unlimited funds to build your dream house, what would it look like?
- What song would you lip-sync battle to impress a crowd?
- What appliance or gadget could you not live without?
The sillier, the better! Lean into humor and get imaginative with these “what if” style messages. Not only will you learn fascinating things about your match, you’ll also spark conversations far more fun than discussing the weather.
For a more playful approach, you could also use roses are red, violets are blue pick-up lines to spark a fun conversation.
Shared interests from their profile
Did you match because you both love obscure indie films? Bond over rescue dogs? Share passion for photography?
Dive deeper into the interests and quirks you have in common. Maybe they posted a pic backpacking through Redwood National Park. Ask what their favorite hike has been so far! If they’re sporting a tee for your favorite band, ask what tracks got them into that group.
Finding these points of commonality sparks lively chats based on things you’re both enthusiastic about. Lean into them!
Pro tip: If you’re both really into something specific, jokingly suggest doing it together as a first date. If they enthuse about watching weird documentaries, for example, you could say something like:
“We clearly both have documentary addictions! Maybe we should grab takeout and watch Tiger King together sometime as a first date?”
Suggesting a date idea related to a shared interest shows thoughtfulness about who they are as an individual. It also gives a subtle signal you’re interested in meeting up.
Dealbreakers and relationship red flags
Okay, talking exes or venting romantic frustrations is off the table when just getting to know a match.
But subtly feeling out dealbreakers, relationship needs, and core values this early is fair game. This gives you both information to decide if you’re really compatible for the long-run.
For example:
You: What’s your take – is astrological compatibility something to consider in relationships or total bunk? I have friends on both sides of the debate!
You: Do you generally like staying home watching shows or are you more of an outdoorsy adventure type? I’m definitely the former, haha
Pose these kinds of questions casually, not like you’re grilling them in a job interview! The goal is simply gathering intel to see if your lifestyles, priorities, and interests truly align down the road.
3. Avoid Common Conversational Pitfalls
Just as stellar responses reel in matches, boring ones cause promising connections to fall flat fast. Dodge these all-too-common Tinder messaging blunders:
Making things too sexual too quickly
When attraction sparks via dating apps, flirty banter leading to meeting up IRL often follows. A little playful chemistry testing can be exciting!
Emphasis on little. Coming on too strong too fast with overtly sexual comments just feels icky to most matches. It also makes them doubt whether you see them as a whole person – not just a hot body.
Flirting is awesome but ease into it slowly. Get a better feel for signals your match enjoys that kind of chat before going there. Suggest meeting up in person first instead of sexting.
Asking a string of rapid-fire interview questions
Question after question with zero info sharing from your end just feels…awkward. Hold a sec – are you applying for Tinder or playing truth or dare?!
Your match doesn’t want the equivalent of a DTR talk before you’ve even met. Keep the “getting to know you” flow balanced instead of interrogate-y.
Share fun anecdotes, crack jokes, or lightheartedly flirt between broader questions to keep the energy upbeat.
Responding with just one quick line
Match: How about you – any wild weekend plans?
You: Nope! Very chill over here.
Convo dead. Tumbleweeds blowing. Crickets chirping.
…See the issue? Short, conversation-stopping answers like these scream disinterest louder than words can. Don’t send them!
Instead, match the effort your people put in. Give details. Ask questions back. Share fun stories that showcase your charm and awesome personality! No one-word replies allowed.
Overusing exclamation points and emojis
Emojis and exclamation overload often happen when you’re trying a liiiittle too hard to show OMG excitement!!! Let’s be real though: that !!!energy!!! doesn’t always translate…
The same goes for emoji strings longer than your arm. Some matches might find embellished enthusiasm with emojis endearing right off the bat! Others though, especially more reserved folks, might feel low-key overwhelmed.
Invite your match to get excited about you and a potential date organically instead. Skip the emoji barrage just yet – you can send all the cute virtual faces on actual dates once you meet up!
4. Move Your Charming Banter Into the Real World
You’ve been joking back and forth for over a week. Multiple essay-length messages have been exchanged about favorite books, indie films, theories on whether ghosts exist – you name it.
At this point, continuing convo on the Tinder app itself starts feeling kinda silly. You know what isn’t silly? Taking things into the real world.
Here’s how to hint meeting IRL could be on the cards – without being overly pushy:
Ask to move the banter to text messaging
Apps like Tinder aren’t really designed for drawn-out, nuanced conversations. Chatting via text instead feels more personal and sets the stage for meeting up later.
Once you’ve exchanged at least 10 or so substantial messages, drop them your digits:
“Hey! Would you want to take this conversation to text? You seem really cool – I’d love to keep chatting if you’re down! My number is 555-867-5309.”
Exchanging phone numbers might feel like a bigger step, so ease into it. Give them the option to text if they want without any pressure.
Pro Tip: Suggest moving to texts within the first 1-2 weeks maximum. Any longer starts to risk fizzling out!
Propose meeting for a chill first date
Once you’re bantering merrily via text, pop the question – ask them to meet up already!
Low-stakes first-date ideas taking the edge off initial jitters could include:
- Grabbing ice cream on a nice day
- Checking out the new exhibit at the local art gallery
- Getting lunch at the hip new ramen bar downtown
- Meeting at a pub trivia night with your friends
The activity matters less than putting yourselves in the same physical space to check for sparkly chemistry!
If you’re suggesting a coffee date, why not spice it up with some coffee-themed pick-up lines?
Keep things super casual to minimize pressure on either side – coffee dates are classic for a reason.
Follow up with confirmation texts
You eagerly await their response after posing that big “let’s finally meet!” idea… Rad, they said yes! Pump those victory fists.
…Then silence.
Uh oh. Did they get cold feet? Forget about your upcoming date?!
Nip post-ask awkwardness in the bud by sending a friendly confirmation text a few days beforehand:
“Looking forward to finally meeting you tomorrow! Does 3pm at Mugs Cafe still work?”
This quick check-in shows genuine excitement. It also guarantees you both actually show up to find out if that online witty banter sparkles into IRL chemistry. Set a reminder on your phone so you remember to send it!
Wrap Up
And that’s a wrap! From crafting ultra-likable responses to seamlessly shifting online chemistry into real-life meetups, you now have all the skills needed to keep Tinder conversations going strong.
No more awkward silences or messages fading into nothingness. Thanks to these tips, your matches won’t be able to resist replying – and eventually meeting you to discover if you’re as charming IRL as you seem on-app!
(And if you need some extra inspiration, check out this ultimate list of funny Tinder pickup lines and jokes to keep your conversations lively and entertaining.)
Now get out there, keep swiping, and wow future matches with your A+ flirting game. You totally got this!
