So you sent an awkward or embarrassing message on Tinder and now you wish you could take it back?
I, also, once messaged someone a half-finished gibberish text by accident. Mortified, I desperately looked for a delete button.
But unfortunately, deleting individual messages isn’t just possible on Tinder.
However, here’s something else you can do when text tragedies strike on the popular dating app. I’ll explain exactly what to do shortly.
Before that, let’s talk about why Tinder doesn’t allow deleting messages. What’s Tinder’s problem?
Why You Can’t Delete Tinder Messages
Messaging mishaps are part of dating and connecting with people. Sent a half-written message or autocorrect made you say something ridiculous – these situations occur.
So why doesn’t Tinder allow us to delete our silly or premature messages? There are a few reasons:
1. Design Simplicity
Tinder prides itself on having a clean, easy-to-use interface. That’s part of what made it explode faster than Aunt Mildred’s hot air balloon.
Adding a message deletion feature would add visual clutter and technical complexity that goes against Tinder’s design principles.
2. Prevents Message Manipulation
Allowing people to delete messages could enable shady behavior. Someone could send a message, get a response, and then delete their original message to make the other person look bad.
By locking messages in place, Tinder limits misuse of the messaging system.
3. Promotes Accountability
Not being able to delete messages makes us accountable for what we say. It motivates us to be more careful and thoughtful in our communication.
Mistakes will always happen of course. But owning our gaffes often leads to more honesty and vulnerability in the long run.
The Next Best Option: Unmatching
If you can’t delete a specific message, what can you do? The next best option is to unmatch the person, which erases your entire conversational history with them.
Here is how to unmatch someone on Tinder:
- Open your Tinder Messages
- Tap on the conversation with the person you want to unmatch
- Tap the menu icon (3 dots icon) in the top right
- Select Unmatch to permanently remove the chat and match
And voila! The awkwardness is gone forever (or at least until you match again).
A few quick caveats on unmatching:
- Unmatching is permanent and can’t be undone
- The person will get no notification that you unmatched
- You’ll immediately disappear from their match list
- Similarly, they’ll immediately disappear from your match list
- Your past messages will be 100% erased
So unmatching is very effective if you want to wipe the slate 100% clean with someone. Keep that in mind before doing it hastily.
Which brings me to…
5 Tips to Avoid Message Regrets
Unmatching people can start feeling excessive if you do it too often. To avoid getting match-unmatch whiplash, here are some tips to prevent messaging mishaps in the first place:
1. Take a Breath
Ever get tempted to fire off a rapid response when you see a notification? Especially if it’s from your crush or about meeting up?
Breathe. Take a moment. Slow down.
Draft your response in your head first. Hear how it sounds. Then text back.
Those few extra seconds of reflection can prevent oodles of message angst down the road.
2. Read It Aloud Before Sending
Our minds have a sneaky way of skimming over mistakes in our own writing. We see what we meant to say, rather than what’s actually on the screen.
Combat this by reading any message aloud to yourself first before sending it. It forces you to see the actual words in front of you rather than what you imagined.
3. When In Doubt, Wait It Out
If you feel a flare-up of emotion around a message – either positive or negative – wait before responding.
Strong emotions rarely mix well with nuanced messaging. Allow time for feelings to settle rather than reacting instantly.
Save draft versions of passionate messages in notes too. Waiting allows you to reassess them with a cool head later.
4. Customize Your Auto-Correct
One tiny typo from auto-correct can torch an entire conversation.
Avoid this by personalizing your phone’s auto-correct specifically for dating scenarios. Add your common phrases, flirts, jokes, etc. Remove overeager assumptions made by algorithms.
The slight upfront effort will prevent horrifying autocorrects down the road.
5. Use Emojis…But Sparingly
Emojis can add helpful emotional context and whimsy to messages. A kissy face says more than words sometimes.
But beware of emoji overload. A block of 7 emojis rarely clarifies your thoughts. Use them to accent messages rather than dominate them.
Stick to those tips and messaging faux pas on Tinder should be minimized over time.
And if one still slips through, unmatch and move forward. Dwelling on the past rarely improves the future.
In Summary…
- Tinder doesn’t allow deleting individual messages to keep the interface simple, prevent manipulation, and promote accountability
- You can delete full conversations by unmatching someone, which erases your entire chat history with them
- To unmatch someone, go to their profile > Menu Icon > Unmatch
- Before unmatching, consider if it aligns with your values or is just avoiding discomfort
- Avoid too many messaging mistakes by breathing, reading aloud, waiting before responding, fixing autocorrect, and using emojis sparingly
Messaging mishaps happen to all of us, especially in dating. Don’t beat yourself up over them. Instead, reflect on what you learned and apply it to build better connections moving forward.
Now get back out there and send some fire messages! Just maybe read them aloud first.
