Have you ever wondered how others truly see you? We all have a self-image, but it doesn’t always match the way others view us.
This gap between our self-perception and the judgment of others can lead to unexpected and sometimes unsettling discoveries.
In this article, we’ll delve into the psychological dynamics that create these perception discrepancies. Understanding this can help you put your best foot forward and get rated more positively right off the bat.
The Two Strategies People Use to Evaluate You
According to psychologists Kimberly Weaver, Stefan Garcia, and Norbert Schwartz, there are two main strategies people use to evaluate someone they just met:
1. The Additive Strategy
This approach involves carefully evaluating each individual quality, skill, or trait you demonstrate. It’s about adding up the positives – every good feature you showcase makes you look better in the eyes of the evaluator.
Think about crafting a resume. The aim is to highlight every impressive achievement, qualification, and attribute you have. This additive approach prompts the evaluator to weigh each component of you separately.
2. The Average Strategy
Alternatively, the average strategy involves forming a general impression based on your overall qualities. Rather than obsessing over each small detail, the evaluator extrapolates a few key traits to paint a holistic picture.
Consider online dating profiles. People tend to quickly scan the photos and bio to get a feel for the person’s vibe, rather than analyzing each tiny bit of info independently.
The Paradox – We Evaluate Differently Than We’re Evaluated
Here’s where things get interesting. According to the research, there’s a fundamental paradox in the way we present ourselves versus how others assess us:
- When describing ourselves or selling a product, we tend to take an additive approach – touting every positive feature or trait we can think of.
- However, people evaluating us or a product tend to use an average approach – they form a general impression rather than tallying up every detail.
This mismatch is why overselling yourself or a product often backfires. Even if you highlight 50 amazing features, the evaluator walks away with an average impression that likely doesn’t account for each one.
Tips to Make a Great First Impression Using the Average Strategy
Since people tend to evaluate us using the average approach, it’s important to optimize our behavior accordingly. Here are some research-backed tips:
Keep it concise
Don’t overwhelm yourself with too many details about yourself. Be selective in choosing a few key traits or accomplishments to highlight.
Focus on confidence
Exuding confidence and believing in your value matters far more than any one achievement on your resume.
Watch your tone
Your attitude and the way you carry yourself is more memorable than the specifics of what you say.
Lead with your strengths
Rather than trying to be well-rounded, lean into your top qualities right away so they form the anchor of your first impression.
Tell an intriguing story
Share an interesting narrative highlighting your strengths rather than rattling off a list of accolades. Stories stick in people’s minds better than facts alone.
Show, don’t just tell
Demonstrate your impressive qualities through your actions and behavior instead of just describing them. Seeing is believing.
Making a Killer First Impression on a Date
First dates are essentially an audition to see if you’ll make the cut for a second one. Here’s how to ace that all-important first impression using key average strategy principles:
Lead with a strong outfit
Your overall look and style set the tone. Dress to impress in a way that flatters your body and displays your personality.
Bring the charm
Flattery will get you everywhere. Break the ice with genuine compliments and attentive body language.
Ask engaging questions
Get them talking about fun topics that show you’re interested in who they are as a person. Listen intently.
Share an adventurous story
Have an exciting anecdote locked and loaded that highlights your sense of humor, values, or goals. Pick something memorable.
Exude confidence
Believe in your worth and convey through your eye contact, posture, vocal tonality, and overall vibe that you bring a lot to the table.
Close strong
If it goes well, end things on a high note. Leave them wanting more by wrapping up before the spark fizzles out.
Rating Yourself Accurately on Your Resume
Many fall into the additive strategy trap when writing their resumes and LinkedIn profiles, resulting in overly long, hard-to-digest info dumps. Here are some tips to showcase yourself in line with the average strategy:
Lead with a strong summary
Immediately convey your most impressive, relevant strengths and achievements in a short, powerful statement at the top of your resume.
Use stories and proof points
Rather than just listing responsibilities, use bullet points to tell short stories demonstrating times you added major value. Quantify results.
Know what they want
Only highlight skills, results, and experiences that align with the role. Don’t clutter yourself with irrelevant facts about yourself.
Visually stand out
Make important info pop through formatting. Use bold, italics, indenting, and ample white space strategically.
Review with a critical eye
Once finished, cut unnecessary content ruthlessly. Be concise and keep only what forms the strongest possible average impression.
Making Your Social Media Shine
Curating an engaging, attractive social media presence is critical in the digital age. But additive overwhelm won’t get you far. Here are some average strategy tips for winning profiles:
Showcase your lifestyle
Give glimpses into your everyday adventures, interests, and personality through fun, shareable photos and stories.
Put thought into your profile pic and cover photo
These prominent images strongly shape initial impressions. Choose ones that reflect how you want to come across.
Highlight passions and values
Rather than stating basic biographical info, share causes, hobbies, and beliefs that reveal what makes you unique.
Engage consistently
Post and interact frequently enough to stay top of mind without going overboard. Avoid both under and oversharing.
Monitor your brand
Be mindful of how all of your content combines to form your overall reputation. Curate intentionally.
Key Takeaways on Making Great First Impressions
- People tend to evaluate us based on an average impression rather than additively analyzing every detail.
- When presenting ourselves, we often mistakenly use an additive approach instead of optimizing for the evaluator’s average strategy.
- Making great first impressions requires tailoring your self-presentation around the most important few traits you want to convey.
- Confidence, style, tone, verbal cues, stories, appearance, and preparation beat out long lists of accomplishments every time.
- Applying average strategy principles can optimize your chances of being rated highly on dates, in interviews, on LinkedIn, and beyond!
So next time you meet someone new or craft an online profile, resist the temptation to include every little positive detail about yourself. Instead, focus on projecting your most impressive qualities in a powerful, strategic way. Mastering the average strategy is the key to being rated highly wherever you go!
