Wedding season is upon us, and if you’ve got little ones at home, you may be wondering what to do with them during the big day. Can I bring a babysitter to a wedding? Or is that poor wedding etiquette?
The short answer is – it depends! Generally speaking, it’s perfectly acceptable to hire a babysitter to watch your kids during a wedding. But there are a few things you’ll want to keep in mind first.
In this article, we’ll cover everything you need to know about bringing a babysitter to a wedding, including:
- When it’s okay to bring a babysitter
- Checking with the couple getting married
- Introducing your babysitter
- Where the babysitter can stay during the event
- Covering expenses for your sitter
- Childcare alternatives to consider
Let’s dive in!
Is It Okay to Bring a Babysitter to a Wedding?
In most cases, it’s absolutely fine to hire a babysitter to watch your children during wedding festivities. Weddings are adult-oriented events, and couples understand you may need childcare.
However, there are a few factors to consider:
General Wedding Etiquette
Standard wedding etiquette says it’s perfectly acceptable to bring a babysitter, especially if you have young children who would otherwise disrupt the ceremony and reception.
As Diane Gottsman, etiquette expert and author of Modern Etiquette for a Better Life, told HuffPost:
“If your children are under the age of 10, then it is appropriate to bring a babysitter. Weddings are adult affairs.”
The bride and groom want all their guests to have a wonderful time. Knowing your kids are happy and cared for allows you to be more present.
Ask About Any Rules or Limits
That said, make sure to check with the couple getting married about any babysitter rules they may have.
Some weddings are strictly child-free, in which case you’d need to make other arrangements. The invite should indicate if kids aren’t allowed.
There also may be venue or headcount limits that affect whether you can bring a sitter. The couple will let you know of any restrictions.
Factor in the Vibe of the Wedding
Another thing to consider is the general vibe of the wedding. Is this a relatively casual, kid-friendly wedding? Or a more formal adults-only event?
If it’s a relaxed backyard wedding where other guests are bringing their children, having your sitter there may fit right in. Formal black-tie weddings are likely not as appropriate.
Use your best judgment based on what you know about the couple and the event. When in doubt, check with the bride and groom.
Things to Keep in Mind When Bringing a Babysitter
Okay, you’ve decided bringing your trusted babysitter is your best option. Here are some tips to make it all go smoothly:
Introduce the Babysitter to the Couple
Make sure to introduce your babysitter to the bride and groom at some point, ideally when you first arrive. This gives them a heads up on who will be caring for your little ones.
Briefly share details like the sitter’s name, background, experience, etc. This makes the couple feel at ease knowing their children are in good hands.
Share Details with the Babysitter
Give your babysitter all the key details about the event schedule, location, where you’ll be, etc. Share your contact information and contact info for anyone else who may be involved, like wedding planners or venue staff.
Make sure the babysitter knows how to easily reach you, whether via text, a mobile app, or phone calls. You want to be accessible in case they need to contact you.
Come Prepared with Supplies
Pack entertainment items like books, coloring books, puzzles, and small toys to keep kids occupied during the wedding. Portable DVD players with kid movies can be a lifesaver too.
Bring any supplies your babysitter may need like spare clothes, diapers, snacks, milk, blankets, a stroller, etc. You want to anticipate anything your child could need so your sitter is prepared.
Have a Backup Plan
While you hope your babysitter can be there the entire time, emergencies can come up. Talk through backup plans like a family member or friend who could fill in if your sitter has to leave early.
Discuss scenarios ahead of time so you have a plan in place, just in case. But rest assured, most professional sitters don’t leave clients stranded.
Where Should the Babysitter Stay During the Wedding?
Where your babysitter is stationed during the ceremony and reception is another consideration. Here are some common options:
Sit Near the Back
If you have infants or very young children, sit toward the back of the ceremony area. This way you can slip out easily if your little one gets fussy or needs to leave.
During the reception, again try to stay near the edges of the room – not front and center. This lets you sneak away as needed.
Use a Separate Room
See if there is a separate room, lounge area, or corner the babysitter can use during the wedding. This gives them a designated spot to take the children when they need a break.
Utilize a Kids’ Area
Some wedding venues have dedicated babysitting rooms or areas just for kids’ activities. Make sure to ask the venue ahead of time if this is an option.
The wedding couple may also arrange for an on-site babysitter or kids’ activities to entertain little ones – so check with them too. Taking advantage of existing childcare can make your life much easier!
Paying Your Babysitter for a Wedding
Hiring a babysitter for a wedding may take up a big chunk of their day. Be prepared to pay them fairly for their time and effort.
Pay Their Hourly Rate
Discuss an hourly rate ahead of time and pay them for all hours worked. Most professional sitters charge $15-$25 per hour.
Factor in time spent getting ready, driving to the venue, during the actual event, and any cleanup/driving home. Round up to the nearest hour.
Cover Any Additional Expenses
In addition to the hourly rate, cover any expenses your babysitter incurs related to the job. This includes things like:
- Gas/mileage for driving to and from the venue
- Parking costs
- Overnight hotel costs if it’s a destination wedding
- Meals if food is not provided
Give them money upfront for these expected costs so they are not out of pocket.
Provide Extra for Incidentals
Give your babysitter some extra cash beyond their rate to cover any incidentals like snacks, kid-friendly meals, arcade games, etc.
About $20-$40 should be sufficient to give them options to feed and entertain the kids. They can return any unused money to you.
Alternative Childcare Options for Weddings
Bringing your go-to babysitter is convenient. But if that’s not possible, here are some other childcare options to explore:
Hotel Babysitting Services
Many hotels offer babysitting services that allow parents to enjoy weddings worry-free. This works well for destination weddings.
You can inquire about the hotel’s babysitters when booking accommodations. Rates range $15-$25 per hour usually.
Venue Childcare
As mentioned, some wedding venues offer childcare services on-site. This could be actual babysitters or supervised playrooms with activities.
Chat with the wedding couple or venue ahead of time to see if they offer anything. The wedding website or invitation may also include this info.
Trusted Family or Friends
Having a family member or close friend watch your children at the wedding is another possibility. This is often free and can work great if it’s someone your kids already know and love.
Just make sure they know what they are committing to and have all the details. Explain their role and your expectations clearly.
The Bottom Line
At the end of the day, the wedding couple wants you to be able to celebrate comfortably. If hiring a babysitter is the best way to enjoy their special day kid-free, then that’s perfectly fine.
The key things are communicating with the couple upfront, introducing your sitter, prepping them with all the details needed, and compensating them fairly. Take these steps and bringing your babysitter along should go off without a hitch!
With the right planning, you can relax and soak in all the wedding moments while knowing your little ones are happily occupied nearby. Here’s to a stress-free wedding season!
