That spark has returned. You’re tired of takeout for one and ready to share your life again. But how do you start dating again after being away for so long?
RELAX! This guide has your back.
In this article, I’ll share 9 tips to refresh your mindset and skills so you re-enter the dating scene with confidence.
Say hello to fun and meaningful connections. The dating world awaits your fabulous return!
1. Are You Ready to Date Again? RECHECK
Rushing back into swiping and flirting before you’re ready won’t do you or potential new partners any favors. Taking time to honestly assess your motivations is key.
Green lights indicating you’re ready to start dating again include:
- Feeling genuinely excited to meet new romantic prospects
- Having made peace with past relationships
- Generally content with your life as a singleton
- Being open to emotional vulnerability with someone new
If the following sounds more familiar, holding off a little longer could be wise:
- Still hung up on an ex
- Feeling apprehensive or down about dating
- Viewing a partner as someone to ‘complete you’
- Looking to date to fill a void rather than for genuine connections
Ultimately, the goal is to enter the dating sphere as a confident individual looking for love, not escape loneliness or fill gaps in your life.
2. Rediscover Yourself
Before sharing your stellar self with others again, getting reacquainted with solo you is essential. Single life presents the perfect chance to learn more about your evolving interests, goals, and priorities.
Make the most of flying solo by:
- Booking that holiday you’ve always dreamed about
- Learning new skills like languages or instruments
- Reigniting passion for old hobbies
- Generally enriching your life
Alongside becoming more rounded for you, cultivating interests also naturally raises your chances of meeting like-minded potential partners.
Joining sports teams, taking cooking classes, and volunteering for causes close to your heart are all prime spots to organically interact with new people sharing your passions.
3. Understand Modern Dating
While your past dating memories may not involve swiping left or right on potential suitors, dating apps now play a sizeable role in matchmaking – even if they aren’t the only avenue for meeting people. Compared to the good ol’ days, casual dating has also become more prevalent, with exclusivity often only entering the chat once you’ve gotten to know one another.
Plus, communication has changed drastically, with texting and DM-sliding often replacing calls and letters, especially in early interactions.
Though natural, avoid viewing any mismatches between new dating partners and your exes as deficiencies. Every romantic connection differs wildly from the last, so resist comparisons and focus on getting to know new individuals on their own terms.
Keep in mind chemistry and relationships can reveal themselves in wonderfully surprising ways when you remain open-minded.
4. Spruce Up Your Dating Profiles
If you plan on diving into the digital dating sphere, ensuring your profile piques interest from the get-go is key.
Choose recent pictures showing your fabulous face and interests clearly. Avoid using group shots and older photos so matches know exactly who they’re eyeing up.
When it comes to writing your bio, think authentic over flashy. Let your personality shine through concisely and positively, focusing on your passions, dreams, and what makes you, you. Perhaps it’s your amateur stand-up comedy skills, documentary obsession, or ability to quote Friends verbatim.
Whatever it is, don’t be afraid to flaunt the quirks that set you apart. Your dating profile should highlight your distinctive awesomeness, not market you like a bland brochure. Above all, remain honest about who are you and what you want rather than pretending to be someone you’re not.
5. Explore Different Dating Methods
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to getting back out there, but there are many options available. Try whatever suits you well!
Online dating apps and websites
With so many options available, it’s worth trying a few different platforms:
- Tinder: Great for casual dating and a large user base
- Bumble: Women make the first move, which can reduce unwanted messages
- Hinge: Focuses on detailed profiles and meaningful connections
- OkCupid: Offers in-depth matching based on personality questions
- eHarmony: Geared towards long-term relationships and compatibility
Speed dating events
Speed dating can be a fun and efficient way to meet multiple potential partners in one evening:
- Prepare a few conversation starters in advance
- Be yourself and don’t try too hard to impress
- Trust your gut feelings about the people you meet
- Follow up with anyone you connected with after the event
Meeting people through mutual friends
Don’t underestimate the power of your social network:
- Let friends know you’re open to being set up
- Attend social gatherings and events where you might meet new people
- Join group activities organized by friends
- Be open to connecting with friends of friends on social media
Joining clubs or classes
Pursuing your interests can naturally lead to meeting like-minded individuals:
- Sign up for a cooking class or wine-tasting
- Join a book club or writing group
- Participate in community sports leagues
- Attend workshops or seminars on topics that interest you
The key is trying different avenues until you discover environments and methods that allow you to put your authentic, fabulous self out there while staying comfortable.
Don’t feel pressured to place yourself in situations that don’t feel right just because they worked for your coupled-up bestie!
6. Master the Art of Small Talk
Though its reputation of being boring and pointless persists, avoiding succumbing to awkward silences on dates by preparing some solid openers can work wonders.
Asking open-ended questions is key here to spark an intriguing chat, not just yes or no responses.
“What’s the best book you’ve read recently?” for example opens far more doors than simply “Do you enjoy reading?”
Alongside asking killer questions, actively listening is equally essential for riveting tête-à-têtes. Demonstrate genuine interest in your date by maintaining eye contact, posing considerate follow-up questions, and reflecting on details they share. This helps conversations flow smoothly while also conveying mutual intrigue and attraction.
If you do face a lull in chat, try sharing an anecdote of your own related to their story or ask their perspective on something happening in the wider culture. A bit of silence here and there is perfectly natural too though and not necessarily suggestive of a dreadful date!
Here are some more solid openers to ignite engaging conversations:
- “If you could have dinner with any historical figure, who would you choose?”
- “What does your perfect weekend look like?”
- “What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?”
The key to small talk is simply showing real interest in your date as an individual. Find out what makes them light up and share judicious details about yourself in return. This mutual exchange of thoughts, feelings, and stories underpins truly fulfilling first dates.
7. Manage Pre-Date Nerves
Firstly, opt for low-pressure, relaxed environments for initial meet-ups – places that enable friendly chats without forcing intimacy. Grabbing coffee, going for a stroll, or checking out a chill, casual restaurant all beat loud, hectic venues.
In terms of outfit, pick clothes mirroring places you’re going while still reflecting your distinctive style. Remember, confidence comes from within, not dress size! If you feel fierce in an outfit, it’ll show in your self-assured body language.
And if those pre-date jitters still have you quaking? Try utilizing relaxation techniques beforehand like deep breathing, visualization exercises focused on your date delightfully, or listening to upbeat tunes.
8. Practice Safe, Smart Dating
While getting back out there should be fun, staying alert regarding personal safety remains vital. For first dates with internet strangers especially, pick public places rather than intimate isolation. Listen to your intuition too – if a situation feels off, make polite excuses and leave.
Always inform a trusted friend about meeting someone new, sharing key details like your date’s number. Many people even arrange a scheduled call during the date itself as an easy exit strategy if needed. You don’t owe anyone politeness or company if alarm bells ring. Your safety outweighs everything.
9. Take it slow
Loneliness coupled with chemistry and thrilling new romance can create a potent cocktail pushing you to dive into new relationships feet first. But giving courtships time to unfold organically nearly always pays off.
Moving slowly not only helps assess core compatibility beyond attraction but also combats getting swept away by temporary infatuation.
Remember to balance one-on-one dating with nurturing existing close friendships, chasing career ambitions, and simple solo self-care too.
Revealing your whole romantic catalog on date two or hastily deleting your dating apps too soon should ring alarm bells about losing equilibrium in your wider life.
In new romances, there’s no definitive signpost highlighting the right time to have the status and exclusivity chat. Core indicators relationship check-ins are due include:
- Consistently dating someone specific for a substantial but undefined period
- Feeling ready to focus romantic efforts on them solely
- Both sharing long-term relationship goals openly
Trying to force attachment or make someone your boyfriend/girlfriend via ultimatum however will only breed resentment. Let relationships unfold naturally rather than impose rigid expectations. The right partner will willingly meet you at the right pace for both of you.
Finally
Try maintaining an open mindset and heart as you start interacting with new romantic prospects. The perfect partner on paper can still lack that ineffable ‘spark’ in reality. Often the best matches blindside you when you least expect them!
Most importantly, embrace dating as a journey, not a rushed race to the finish line. Let things progress organically, don’t pressure every new date to become ‘the one’.
When the time’s right, you’ll meet someone willing to gently take your hand and walk at your pace into the sunset together!
